Sunday, January 30, 2011

part 2

Yesterday was such an emotional day for me. It really helped to sit and get some of it out in my blog, and thank you all for your kind words and support. It is hard for me to lean on others, It is my "nature" to take the world on my shoulders, and not reach out when I am struggling. I really want to give everyone big hugs right now, I'm certainly feeling the "love". It means alot!
I realized with all of the mixed emotions I was having all I could think about was eating. First I had waited to long to eat, so I was starving, but I wanted to have an eating frenzy. In my own way I did, but not the way the Becky from 2 weeks ago would have. All in all, I went 350 calories over my limit. At the "moment in time" I felt like I was eating thousands of calories, but when I tracked it, it wasn't bad. And it was all within the realm of our healthy food list.  That tells me a little something about myself. That through this process I am growing, and little by little I am changing.
While change is not easy, it is worth it.
Food has always been my comfort in one way or another, food wouldn't molest me, food didn't make fun of me, food was always there for me.
Food is not there for my entertainment, food is there to fuel my body. I can't tell you how many things I am noticing about my body's reaction to the good things that are going into it. My tastes are changing, I can taste the sweet in foods, that I would have thought bland or bitter before. I am actually tasting my food! unsweetened coconut, is awesome! it's the little things, lol.
I am starting to appreciate my food, and what it does for me. WOW!
I feel like I woke up to a fresh start, and looking at things through new eyes. haha, well at least for today ;)  One day at a time.. Looking forward to the week ahead! No excuses!

2 comments:

  1. Perfect, Becky. This is EXACTLY what BTWG is all about. I'm VERY proud of you for putting yourself out there and for doing the truly hard work. Holding back only get's mediocre outcomes, at best. Being a Warrior (as defined in yesterday's group meeting) leads to change, transformation, freedom and peace.

    Good job! Proud of you...

    Chris
    ps - you will always hear from me at the "right time" not necessarily when you "want" to hear from me ; )

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  2. Rock on, girl! Now when did we ever think we'd splurge on good food? HA! Cool. It's cool hearing about your changes in tastes and how things do taste different now. It's amazing how long we've missed some of these excellent flavors, or at least underappreciated them. Good job for all the hard work!

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