Monday, February 28, 2011

New Day

Ok. It is a new day. Nothing has gone as planned since I have been up here (as far as "me"goes) I woke up this morning feeling good. Not good about the last few days, but it's a new day a fresh start. It may not be perfect, but I am ready. No excuses. No more wallowing in my self pity. What was I thinking?!?! I have worked too hard to get this far and treat myself like this! Thank you for your support, and words. I really needed the boost. Sherri, You are awesome! You don't know how awesome! Mary Beth, you know me so well. I am so glad to have you in my journey!
One day at a time!!!!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

well...

Ok I am going to be honest here, I am not doing so well. I am stress eating, not getting my sleep, not getting my exercise, feeling guilty about eating this crap, but not guilty enough to stop. I have been PMSing on top of all of it. I am ready to come home. Still so much to learn about myself. I thought I could be ready for this. One more week, one more week, one more week....

Thursday, February 24, 2011

sailing?... sinking? floating?

It is much harder to "sail" than I thought! Wow! I am up in Fort Wayne now, it is day 2. I went to the grocery and stocked up on good stuff. Breakfast and lunch is easy, it's dinner that is the hard meal. I went out last night, and chose well. Then my mom ( For those who don't know, my mom and I produce The Fort Wayne Home and Garden Show) orders Carrot Cake for desert... hmmm... The waiter brings an extra fork and tells me I am going to want a bite... Boy was he right! We ended up sharing the piece. I say it could have been worse, I tracked it, hopefully I am over it, I don't have those "guilty" feelings I normally would have. I don't feel bad, I ate it, it was good, and I am ok with that... I'm not going to totally blow this whole thing just because of it. Every year when I come up here, I always treat it like my away time, my break from the usual. I don't have my family here, I spend a lot of time going to dinners etc. I don't feel bad about having a glass or two of wine, and don't feel bad about all of the treats we have here at the show. Its once a year right? This year is different, I had water with my dinner, and I am ok with that. I even found that doing meditation has been easier. I have no usual distractions. Anyways... it's only day 2, I am sure I will have my ups and downs, but blogging about it, at least makes me feel accountable ;)
Hope everyone is having a great week!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Girl Scout Cookie Time! Ha

Thinking about yesterdays meeting, Chris was talking about emotional eating etc. and learning to deal with our issues in other ways. I was thinking maybe that's why I feel so drained, with all of the stress of my work, and busyness of my life I am not turning to eating, though I do think about it. I have got to quit letting myself get ultra hungry, because all I think about is what I can get into my mouth. My daughter is in Girl Scouts, and there are cookies in the house. I wanted to eat a box of thin mints yesterday sooo bad! But I knew it was because I was super hungry, and tired, and have had a bit of a rough week. So I didn't touch them.  I grabbed handfuls of raisins, a spoon of peanut butter, and a banana instead. Plus to top it all off I came home from the meeting yesterday to our fridge not working. Things were already thawing in the freezer, so I had to deal with that, and we had to go out and buy a new one. But I didn't stress out about it like I would have before, It is what it is, and I dealt with it. I think the most stressful part of getting a new fridge was trying to get it in the house with my husband. We don't always work so well together when it comes to things like that, lol. I did get a good strength workout in though, HA!
So anyways... these next two weeks will be different. I am going to try and be prepared as I can be, make the best choices I can, and try not to stress if my day isn't perfect. Life isn't perfect. It is what it is right?
Have a good week, I am off to deliver cookies ;)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

whew

I feel like this week has been a whirlwind! Still going strong! Been getting up early to get my workouts in before I have to go to work. Because I have NO time in the evenings right now. My son is on the swim team, and both kids are in scouts, so I don't have an evening free all week. No insights lately, just trudging through my days, taking one step at a time, and trying not to stress about the small stuff. Hope to see everyone on Saturday! Enjoy the weather!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Trust the process

The further I get into this program, my awareness grows. Yesterdays meeting was good, there weren't many of us due to the snow,  so we all really got to know each other a bit better. Chris asked us all if we are "in".  I am "in", my thinking is changing, my reaction to food is changing, my body is changing. This program really isn't about losing  the most weight I can during the 12 weeks, then going back to the way I was, it's about treating my body with respect, creating a way of eating for the rest of my life.
I feel great, I really do, my body has detoxed, I don't have my old cravings to sugar, or even carbs the way I did before. My body is reacting to the program so well. I almost can't believe how well. It's like my body is thanking me for treating it right. I am starting to think about food, in a totally different way, in terms of protein content, carbs, and good fat, I check to see what is in it, before I eat it. By all means I am not perfect at this, I don't know if I will ever be, I still like my treats, but I am having different treats now. I cook almost every night, I have been trying to find recipes that my family will eat, and I stock so many fruits and veggies in the house, there is no excuse to have an unhealthy snack.
Awareness is huge, trust is huge. To any of you who aren't all "in" I'm telling you, trust the process, if you just do it, give it 2 weeks, you will notice it too. It's not torture at all, it's not, it's setting yourself free.
This is an awesome experience!
No excuses!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Stir crazy!

My week has been all screwed up! My eating has been decent. I realized that, when I saw a post on FB from a friend who said she needed to get out of the house before she ate EVERYTHING, lol... Hey that's not me this time!
My workouts have suffered. I only got one in so far, and am planning on getting to the gym today to get another one. It's hard to walk on ice, let alone run, lol... Speaking of, I busted my butt yesterday! Ouch!
Anyways, can't wait to get out of the house today... Hoping to see everyone on Saturday!