Sunday, March 27, 2011

In or Out?

Yesterday's meeting was great! Gave me much to think about, and made me realize how much I "need" the support of others. This program has been full of ups and downs for me, I started out doing everything by the "book", which is what I always do. I tend to start something strong, love it, then burn myself out. Chris asked us to think about other parts of our life, do I just tend to do this with my nutrition, or everything... With me, it's most everything. I start something ie; knitting, scrapbooking, join a gym, diet, have a certain routine, garden etc. I start out great, really stick with it, but at the first sign of something going wrong, or I take a misstep, I have the HARDEST time getting back to it. Which has happened here.
I went to Ft Wayne, took a 2 week mental, emotional, break from this, and I have struggled ever since to get myself back on it. I am not going to lie, I have had days where I have wanted to give up, and say to Hell with it, I am OVER this.  It has been a real internal struggle. I almost have. But then I think about

WHY...
Why did I start this in the first place?
Not because I was happy right? No, because I wanted to change, I wanted to be HAPPY, I wanted to change my life.

Was this program what I thought it was going to be?
Absolutely NOT! But Chris warned us right? What in life is easy? Look where easy has gotten me...

Do I feel good about the changes i have made so far?
YES! I am not perfect, and these weeks for me have NOT been perfect, but who is perfect?

Am I the only one that struggles?
NO! I am not alone, that is what these meetings are about! To let us know we are not alone, but can push through our obstacles. We have the support system, Chris gives us that. We just have to use it. Kelly and Sherri have been through this, they know what they are talking about. The rest of us are going through the same thing! It is amazing just a comment from someone can make you look at something totally different.

It's funny, when I began the program, I thought why are all these other's that have already been through the program, going through again... If it works they should be done, haha.... Now I know... This isn't an easy fix, It's not weight watchers, It's a life. This is my life. I am not perfect, I will mess up, I will fall, I am still growing, and learning. I have 32 years of practicing the lifestyle that got me here in the first place, it would be a miracle if it only took 12 weeks to void that.

But... what a great start to the next 32 years of my life!

Thank you to all in this program. Thank you Chris.
Namaste

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Excuses, Excuses...

I am full of excuses this week...
Can't seem to get back into the groove... My sleep is off, my eating is off. I am trying to get back into the groove with my workouts, it's been a rough week... I did choose to run instead of attend Saturday's meeting. It was nice to be outdoors and I needed the release. Today's strength workout scares me, lol... can't wait to try it tho.
Great job everyone on your runs this past weekend! I was thinking of all of you!